As we round the bend and close the circle on this month's series of gratitude blogs I find it so fitting and slightly ironic that I woke up this morning struggling to practice what I've been loudly extolling from the soapbox. After having been in a long audition process for a commercial call in which I was put on avail (which means I've practically booked the gig but not quite or maybe not at all) I had my third callback yesterday. So of course I'm thinking, "Great! I nailed it!" so I went in, did my thing for the casting director, and waited for the phone to ring....that was yesterday. My phone has only beeped with junk e-mails since. Now today I'm fully aware that my chances of booking this commercial are probably 50/50....and as time goes by this morning that balance is going to fall less and less in my favor. And so here I am, swallowing my own medicine and reminding myself to put things into perspective. I don't know if I booked the job or not and I'm actively and verbally talking to myself in the bathroom, encouraging myself to remember that this outcome is just not that important. If I get the commercial that would feel awesome to my ego and my bank account. But if the phone doesn't ring, then there is a bigger picture involved that I better be able to see. And that bigger picture is this: Sometimes our disappointments are gifts in and of themselves. Sometimes our failures must happen in order for somebody else to experience success. Sometimes those unanswered prayers are God's way of saving us from ourselves. And sometimes things just don't go our way so that our heads don't get bigger then our hearts. So yes, I REALLY would love for that phone to ring today. But the more I talk to you about it the less important it seems. Because if instead of gaining a commercial contract I gain a little bit more compassion, empathy, understanding, and wisdom, then I think the true success is mine anyways.
Thank you for sharing in this blog with me this last month. The practice of gratitude is a beautiful gift to yourself that I would encourage everyone to keep. I intend to maintain a gratitude journal outside of this blog, which I do hope you will continue to join me in, because the inner peace that has seeped into my day just by living more fully in the present and with an open heart has been a tremendous gift to myself. Give yourself the gift of seeing beyond the circumstances you are dealing with. Life is too short. I don't want to miss out on its beauty because my head was too full of the cotton and cobwebs of bitterness and envy. We ALL are blessed. Start counting those blessings today. You will certainly be surprised at how much you really do have to be thankful for. I know that I am.
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