Embracing Fear

We've all felt it....that tingling tight sensation in the pit of your stomach, the twisting knot in your throat, the clammy sweat in your palms, that uncomfortable restriction that pains the senses, that makes clothes feel too tight, the air feel too thin, the internal red siren that demands immediate escape,...and although that sensation is often associated with  negative connotations I have become increasingly certain that the symptoms of fear are quite often more deserving the distinction of being considered growing pains then the usual dismissal with which we label them.  The birth of any new development into which time is worth delving is almost always announced by the painful passage of the awkward, the uncomfortable, the confusing, the scary, the ugly, and the unclear. Greatness is reserved for the courageous who dare to brave its painful arrival. I speak confidently of this because I am in the thick of such a transition...

Opportunity presented itself to me recently and my first reaction was to say no as I felt my throat tightening and the backs of my knees getting sweaty. I was presented with an opportunity to step into an arena of new responsibility, creativity, leadership, and administration and my first inclination was to run the other way. I looked for all the reasons why I should say no, why I should maintain my current status as a follower and not a leader in this part of my life and then a very wise friend spoke to me some jewels of truth. They reminded me that I would never regret trying something new but I might regret not giving the situation a chance. I knew they were right and when I allowed myself to reposition my minds perspective I realized a glaringly obvious truth. By allowing myself to consider the possibility of saying yes I recognized that all of my fears and reasons for wanting to retreat were really the excuses of someone who was just nervous about how it would feel to have to experience the gangly awkward developmental stages of growing into success. All my reservations were really just the excited marks of a recognition that I was about to jump into another level of awareness, success, influence, and persuasion and that I was going to have to raise my personal bar and accountability to myself and to others. A scary and exciting and inspiring crossroads, indeed! Because once you have become the biggest fish in your pond it is quite easy to want to maintain the status quo and to resist swimming upstream to join the bigger schools of life. But who is going to finish their journey here and be grateful that they played it safe? Who is going to be glad that they didn't risk big, didn't reach for their dreams, didn't give every opportunity its fair shake?

One of my favorite mantras is to, "Take no prisoner, Leave no regrets, Take everyone along for the ride" and I am confidently living with integrity in that philosophy because I said yes to that opportunity a few weeks ago. I can honestly say I am reaching another level of living within my passions and hence my purpose. I find myself exhausted and yet constantly re-energized by what I am doing. My days are long but my mind is constantly racing towards the next challenge facing me in this new chapter of my adventure here and I am so grateful for every day, every obstacle, every moment. I am blessed because I am doing what I was designed to do and I am confident that beyond the initial fears I held I am in the process of spreading new wings capable of carrying me and so many others to greater heights. I am grateful for the fear that let me know that I was, I am, and I will do a great many things through the power of He who is my strength. Because what is interpreted as fear is very often just the telling symptoms of a life of courage that is in the process of doing the very thing at which lesser men scoff.